Wednesday, February 25, 2009

The thing with boys...

Friends, easy to make, hard to keep and so difficult to understand in some particular situations, especially when it comes to boys. Having a best guy friend can be sometimes like having a boyfriend you don't kiss or like a brother you never had. Other time's it's like a nightmare because you start realizing that you are so different (not only gender) and that one will never really understand the other.

Is it really so difficult to be a friend of or to have a (or some) boy(s) as friend(s)? Well, I say it's 50:50. I get better along with boys and have many male friends and it's complicated sometimes. I admit, in the beginning I always thought that it was none-sense what most people were saying, I was convinced that getting along with boys and understand them was nothing of impossibe if you did it right. I honestly still think that I know how some boys do function but the thing is, you yourself, will never stop being a girl (say hello to the problem!) and so the typical girly reactions will at some point take the overhand and spoil much, too much.

I think that's how I mentioned to lose two good friends, not to say best friends. Let's take for instance, the always feared and denied feeling of jealousy. Ok, most of the girls say that they aren't jealous when it comes to their buddies, but I don't know really... I think that my jealousy that I never admitted to anyone, not even to myself, destroyed everything. I didn't have feelings for them, like love, but just a good friendship; I loved it to spend as much time with them as possible and it seemed as if they felt the same. We were a great team, known as a trio and did so much stuff together but then suddenly there was another girl and so the typical girl reaction came... I became jealous and made sometimes some not very appropriated comments; it was the beginning of the end. At first I just tried to avoid her and continue spend time with my buddies, but then they preferred her over me; they had less time for me and I felt left outside of their little community. I felt hurt and started to spend time with other friends of mine but that didn't took the jealousy away and so everything broke apart with a huge fight, just to make the end perfect.

Jealousy does not only ruin relationships but friendships too. The thing was and still is, the guys didn't understand me and I didn't understand them. Perhaps if we had been sitting together and once for all had been talking about everything, the big difference that one girl brought to our friendship, everything could have ended in another direction. Perhaps if I had made an effort to like her, we could still be friends. I would say that the pride of both genders stood in our way... Girls make drama for something Boys consider as 'not worth to think twice about'.

But to be honest what would we do without one another?! Sometimes it's even good that we react different and that we have our own way of thinking. Still I say that a boy-girl-friendship is possible if one gives the other a chance to explain himself and if both try to understand the other.

.ladybird <3

*happy birthday mum! =) <3*

Monday, February 23, 2009

first blog x]

wow! I found my way to blogspot...=)

I always wanted to blog, in other words blabber a bit about my life although it may not seem that interesting as most people would think it is, but still it's my life and I'm trying to get out the best of it. Perhaps some may think that a diary would suit me better, problem is: I'm not comfortable with a diary and I never mention to keep up with one...=S When I have a diary in my hands and something good in my head that I would like to write down, I immediately get the urge to start with "dear diary," and that's already something that annoys me from the beginning on.

Something I need is an impersonal diary which contains nonetheless my experiences, thoughts and ideas and much more. Something where I can just write down whatever comes to my mind and someone perhaps responding with a good advice or simply an intelligent comment. So that's how I came on blogspot.

I'm not a good speaker at all, not to say a terrible one! When I need to speak in front of people, my voice get so low that not even my direct neighbour or someone sitting in the first row is able to hear what I have to say and it's not because I don't have something interesting to tell, no, it's just because I'm getting shy and don't want to do a mistake or something. That's why I prefer to write and read from a sheet than do "a one woman show" and tell everybody what's on my mind...=)

Extraordinarily & freaking silly, that's me...x)

.ladybird <3